Trading Frustration for Fruit

Galations 5:22-23 "But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy , peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." 


     I have noticed that I am becoming very easily frustrated lately.  Really frustrated with many things, be they big or small.  I have also noticed that my response has not been very, let's say "fruitful".  I'm not sure why this is cropping up now, but I suspect that Satan is throwing things into my path to deter me from my Christian walk, and I must say, I'm allowing him to do a very good job.  Not only is my attitude having an affect on my own heart, but I suspect it's affecting the hearts of my children too.  Now that I have made myself aware, I'm making a plan to fix it!  You are welcome to join me in this little "exercise" if you like.
     Let's call this a  training exercise!  If you want to change anything, be it your diet, your level of fitness, or even a spiritual problem, you need a plan.  "Spend your time and energy in training yourself for spiritual fitness"..."which is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next", 1 Timothy 4:7-8.  In this particular exercise two steps are necessary.  Step 1 will be to acknowledge the sin.  By this, I mean that precise moment when something comes along and we feel the frustration beginning.  It might be a thoughtless comment from someone else, it might be the never ending construction zone, it might be the lack of funds to do something you would like, but the sin is your own thoughts about the situation and your subsequent reaction to it.  Step 2 will be to replace our sinful thoughts and responses with fruitful ones.  When eliminating a bad habit, it's important to fill that spot with something good.  If we don't make a conscious decision about what to replace it with, we will find something will fall into its place on it's own,  and it might just be another bad habit.
     To practice this now for use later, recall a moment today or yesterday when you were frustrated.  For me this was an argument between my two teenagers that I stepped into "help" with, and said some really annoying things that even I didn't want to hear.  I was frustrated by the tone they took with each other, and the unkind things they said.  I was further frustrated by the fact that they behaved in this unchristian manner in front of younger siblings who watched in open mouthed awe.  My reaction belittled the older kids, and did nothing encouraging for the younger kids.  The argument ceased, and we all sat down to eat a breakfast we no longer wanted with people we didn't want to sit with.  Satan won that round!  A fruitful response would have had different results.  Looking back on this moment I want to think about what could I have done or said that would have reflected the fruits of the spirit.  Calling a truce to cool off, taking an opportunity to pray with each teenager individually, but something constructive to stop the flow of useless and hurtful words, and turn the atmosphere back to one of love and joy or at least peace and patience.  I'm choosing now to be thankful for this situation as it will give us an opportunity to talk to one another and practice asking for, giving, and receiving forgiveness.  It matters not who is right or wrong.  It matters that we love one another and keep short accounts on wrongs.
     This practice of reflecting on the past sin, will give us a clue for how to deal with the future sins we haven't yet committed.  For the rest of this day I am going to actively look for frustrating circumstances and situations so that I can practice!  When I leave my house and drive through the construction zone that has been our neighborhood for almost a year, I'm going to pray for each construction worker that I pass.  I'll pray for their warmth and safety.  I will pray in thankfulness that we will have a new and far less treacherous road for when my oldest son learns to drive soon.  When my family gathers tonight after a day at school and work, I will not rehash the unseemly behavior from this morning.  I will hug my kids tight, have a snack with them, listen to their day, and be thankful we have each other and everything we need in a world that often seems to be spinning widely out of control around us.  When my husband comes home, I will not meet him at the door with all the dirt of the day.  I will ask him about his day and listen like I really want to hear it, because I do.  I love him and he works hard for our family.  He is a good example of a hard worker for our children and he leads our family in the way we should go.  If someone, friend or stranger says something unkind or unthoughtful, to myself or someone else, I will not respond in kind.  I will instead pray for that person, and if appropriate, say something kind or uplifting to them.  I will show love when someone seems unlovable.  God loves them already, how can I do less?  I will use little frustrations as reminders to pray.  Prayers of thankfulness for safe keeping, for guidance, and for opportunities to grow, will be what I replace my frustrations with.  I will choose to be used by God instead of Satan when life's little frustrations come my way.

Please don't Complain

"Please don't complain to me", is an often repeated phrase in my home.  No one likes a complainer.  I even find that I frustrate myself with my own complaining!  Why do we complain?  Have you ever wondered why it is so incredibly easy to find something to complain about?  Why is it so much more difficult to find something pleasant to talk about?  God clearly shows us in His word that He realizes this is human nature by warning us about ourselves.  "In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing," Phil 2:14, and "These people are grumblers and complainers," Jude 1:16, and "How should I describe this generation?  These people are like a group children playing a game in the public square.  They complain to their friends,"  Matthew 11:16. 

Being of human nature however, does not excuse a sin.  What comes naturally must often be taken under control, but knowing why we do what we do, may make it easier to overcome.  It's like knowing that your car isn't running because it has no gas.  You wouldn't complain about the car not starting if you knew that YOU forgot to put gas in it!  You might complain about your own memory issue, but you wouldn't blame the car!  That would be silly, you can clearly see it's not the car's fault YOU didn't acknowledge the low fuel light!  That we understand, but what if the light didn't come on and the gas gauge was broken, would we see clearly what the problem was?  1 Corinthians 13:12 shows us the "why".  "Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything in perfect clarity.  All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now."  If we don't see things clearly, what we do see confuses us.  If we only see a part of the whole, we don't know what it means, or why something is the way it is.  That is the point we start to complain.  What we are complaining about is actually our own inability to see clearly the why and how things are happening around us.  We like to share our "confusion" with our friends, and since they also can not clearly see, we may even find ourselves in the proverbial blind leading the blind situation!  I believe this additional sin then takes on a new name called "gossip".  

Wouldn't it be nice if we knew WHY that guy was speeding down the highway, driving like a maniac?  If we knew he was in a hurry to get to the hospital to see his new baby being born, we would probably pull over and let him pass.  What if we knew that short tempered woman in the grocery line that's yelling at her kid to stop touching the candy, had just lost her best friend in an accident?  Would we stop and pray for her, smile sympathetically at her and let her go first?  How about that mean lady in your kids school who never smiles and is always short with you?  What if you knew her husband had left her and she was now raising two kids on a school salary?  Would you pray for her?  Would you try to squelch the gossip from the other moms and maybe even yourself before SHE heard, and then had one more strike against her?  If we only knew WHY, we would probably respond differently.  God has told us however, that we do not and will not know why or see clearly until later.  Knowing this, we can choose to accept our confusion.  Rest in the knowledge that God sees all, and understand that we just don't understand.  By acknowledging our own inability to see clearly and know all, we can now allow things around us to continue as they do without complaining.  We can pray that God will give us His eyes and heart to see those around us as He does.  We may not know why people do what they do, or why things happen the way they do, but we can be used by God where we are when we accept His lead.  He knows where and why.  Do I trust Him enough to let Him lead me?  Can I accept that I don't know why and pray anyway?  Can I love the seemingly unlovable?  Can I squelch the urge to complain and accept that God sees all?  I know that I will try to do this.  I know that I will fail. I know I will give those around me chance to complain about me.  I also know that God will forgive me and I will try again. And again, and again.

Wisdom? Where can you find it?

"Wisdom is having lots to say, then not saying it."  I saw this gem posted outside of a local church recently and it has really stuck with me!  How true is that?!  I have found that I have very often regretted the things I have said, but only rarely have I regretted the things I refrained from saying.  The bible is full of verses about what comes from the mouths of us humans.  Here are just a few, "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life", (Prov. 15:4). "The lips of the wise spread knowledge," (Prov. 4:7).  "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue," (Prov 17:28), and one more (my favorite)  "For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks".  What I gather as I read these verses and many others similar, is that the words from our mouths are a direct mearsurement of what is in our hearts.  If we fill our minds and hearts with things from the Word of God, then what naturally comes forth from our lips will reflect Him.  If we have starved ourselves of the Word, then what naturally comes from our mouths will reflect our human nature, sin. I have to ask myself daily, have I feasted on God's wisdom today?  On those days I have not, I better be careful to keep my mouth closed.  On those days I have feasted and spent time with my savior, I may still want to keep my mouth closed, but if the spirit moves me to speak it should be a response and not a reaction.  When I lay down at night, I want to review my day and all the interactions I have had with others around me.  I want to rest in the knowledge that at my best, I reflected wisdom from God, and at my worst, I only remained silent.

Thankful for it all!

1 Thes. 5:16-19  "Always be joyful. Keep on praying.  No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
"Do not stifle the Holy Spirit.  Do not scoff at prophecies, but test everything that is said.  Hold on to what is good.  Keep away from every kind of evil."

The first part of these verses, I have read numerous times.  The second part... not so much.  How is it that one stifles the Holy Spirit?  Is it when we know that which we should do, yet don't?  Is it when we fail to pray and then wait for God's lead?  Is it when we are sure we know what God wants us to do and plunge ahead only to later wonder whose "will" it was, ours or His?  If our own plans are so perfect, why do they so often crumble at our feet.  Why do we wait for that moment to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and then hope God "cleans up" our mess while sending instructions for what to do now.  I am finding that more and more, spending time in God's word is the only way to harness the Holy Spirit in my life.  I'm re-reading the words of the prophets, looking for the warnings as well as the promises.  When I'm making a decision on how to respond in a situation, I'm seeking the experience of those who have walked before me.  I am attempting to respond, not react (read, overreact), by remembering the trials of the believers before me.  Life is difficult and we learn from our trials.  When life is wonderful, we forget.  I choose to be thankful for the difficult times, because it is then that I am being refined.  I am choosing to hold onto that which is good, true, and honest.  I am choosing to let go of anything that stands in the way of my ability to hear the Holy Spirit, that can be anything from bad habits to releasing people from my life that God didn't put there.  We become what we surround ourselves with.  Choose Good.  Choose God.